Building Blocks to Successful Relationships: The Foundation
Romans 12:10,
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly [sisterly] love; in honour preferring one another;”
“So long as we have love, we serve; so long as we are loved by others, I should that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he is a friend” (Robert Louis Stevenson).
“Good, healthy life-giving friendships with kindred spirits will strengthen our hearts, challenge our minds, and feed our souls” (Sally Clarkson).
“Friends celebrate important moments of life, hold us up in times of trial, teach us about God and life, and spur us in our walk with the Lord. They are a prize we should seek and pray for” (Sally Clarkson).
We as women were created specifically for companionship and relationship. Most women have a unique need for friendship that differs from that of men. Friendship is a gift from God. And it is something that we should treasure.
The word “affectioned” in Romans 12:10 means to cherish.
If God has blessed us with godly relationships, we should treat them with tenderness and affection; hold them dear; and treat them in a manner to encourage growth.[1]
Romans chapter 12 teaches us how to have successful relationships. It addresses our relationships with God, our fellow believers, and even our enemies.
Before we can build, however, we must first begin with:
The Foundation
When I was over in Spain, I had the opportunity to visit several different castles. One of these castles in particular was quite a massive structure. At one time, it was the home of King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella, as well as, a number of other Spanish monarchs. It was also one of the castles used as inspiration for Cinderella’s castle. However, as glorious as this structure was, all of its beauty would have been in vain if the proper foundation had not been laid.
Proverbs 31:30, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”
Successful relationships must begin with a proper foundation. This foundation is the most important relationship of all. And that is our relationship with our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
We must be WALKING with the Lord
Someone said, “Remember to always put God first in your relationship, marriage, and home. Because where there is Christ, your relationship will always remain solid.”
Romans 12:1-2,
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Before walking in Spiritual harmony with our sisters-in-Christ, we must surrender our will to the Lord and allow our flesh to be transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. If we are not abiding in Him and walking in the Spirit, we will not have the type of relationships with others God desires us to have.
We cannot be unified with our sisters in Christ, if we are not first unified with God.
If we want our relationships to be transformed, our hearts must first be conformed to the image of Christ. So many Christians are only interested in the relationships that are going to bring them personal benefit.
We must WILLING to lay our lives down for others
One of the ways we present ourselves as a living sacrifice to the Lord is by laying down our lives for our fellow sisters-in-Christ. This does not necessarily mean literally. But it does mean putting the needs of others ahead of ourselves. It means sacrificing our desires to meet those of another.
John 15:12-13, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
The Lord wants us to be emptied of ourselves and filled up with the Holy Spirit. If we are living in the flesh instead of the Spirit, our relationships will be self-serving, rather than God-pleasing. If we are living Spirit-filled lives, our focus will be pouring into the lives of others.
We must be living in the WILL of God
Romans 12:2b, “…that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Walking in the will of God is a key component not only in our relationship with God, but also with others. When we are out of His will, it will cause unnecessary stress in our lives and will ultimately lead to strained relationships.
Being out of the will of God may be as simple as having misplaced priorities. Even too much of a good thing will lead to out of kilter lives. Anything that hinders our relationship with the Lord, even if it is doing the “work” of the Lord, will lead to being out of God’s will. Too much serving and not enough sitting at the feet of Jesus will lead to frustration, burn out, and ruined relationships.
What is the status of your relationship with the Lord?
What motives do you have in your relationships with fellow sisters in Christ? Is it self-serving or self-giving?
If we want to have successful relationships with others, we must begin by building upon a sure foundation!
Please join me for the next several weeks as we look at the Building Blocks to Successful Relationships!
Other posts in this series:
[1] Webster’s 1828, “cherish”
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Your analogy of the castle’s foundation is beautiful! Thanks for the reminder about the most important part of healthy relationship-building!
Thanks Jana!
This is a beautiful post about relationships and friendships. The foundation “blocks” you’ve laid down for us are vital for a strong foundation on which to build relationships.
Yes! Building a proper foundation is vital beginning with Jesus Christ.